Lips.

who i really was 

this whole time

i thought i was hiding from you

but you were aware of everything 

that i could never conceal

and it was sealed with a kiss

from me to you

& your lips still hold

the truth 

you promised you'd never tell

honor it, keep it

your lips hold my secret.

Epiphany, much?

I don't kno why its taken so long, but i realize that i have No Choice, but to move on. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and in every other aspect of who i am. The concept seems so simple, just get over it, right? But its not, its so complexxx, but i can do it.

Like That.

ya, just like that its O V E R.
having a really hard time seperating what i FEEL, from whats REAL.
and thee emo shit continues...

"i'm left in darkness, but i refuse to be swallowed by it
my lonliness like the night air
invisible to the eye
obvious to the touch
in its cold unconfortableness
yet if i could do it all over again
I'd do it in the same skin i'm in
to lay down and let love die
just stay down and let love lie
No no not I
I'll saty around and let love F L Y
even though i've seen its darkest for deceit
nothing else could feel this warm or taste so sweet"
-Big Rube

Regret.

It's eating away at me because i feel like i missed my opportunity for something i've wanted for an extremely long time. "Everything happens for a reason," yadda, yadda, they say it all the time, but im having a hard time believing it. && i sware every aspect of my life is being tested right now. I'm dreaming with a fuckingg broken heart and its killing me, literally. The relationships i thought were the strongest are the shakiest, the people i thought i could depend on are turning their backs, && the very thing keeping me breathing is suffocating me.



its the same lesson, over and over again. obviously, i have yet to retain the moral of the story.
&& this is whet happens when you put you're faith in people, rather than the one who created you.

bye.

Buttt, today.

So, i'm not one to angry over stupid shit. Butt, today? Hmm, most definitely not my day. I'm also not one to look forward to life changing expirences such as GRADUATION... buttt, today! I've gotta get outta here. It's not like im ready to move to ohio, or im ready to start my new life as a collegiate athlete, buttt today, I'm most definitely tired of high school. The drama, the shit talking, the "friends," the boys EFFF it all.

Buttt today, i've decided to LOVE even harder tomorrow. By no means, is this statement preceeded by an angry rant meant to be epic, but im serious. Hate begets hate && if there's one thing im sure of, im sick of hate. I've been throwing up for years actually.

&& today...

Singing Over the Bones

"If you kill one part of the woman, you kill the whole."

-Will Smith

Deep.

wow.

so much to say
but now is not
thee time

love,
brandi

sometimes.

when i look at you, i mean really look at you...i see myself. && its the scariest thing in the world because i hate you.